Sometimes, things come out of our children's mouths that astound us and stop us in our tracks. Often these things are inappropriate, funny or just out of this world. And sometimes, what your child says to you can be one of the best things anyone has ever said to you. I had one of these moments recently.
"Mom, how did you get to be so accomplished?" My 13 year old asks me.
"What do you mean?" I responded, a little surprised by his question. I don't often think of myself as "accomplished".
"I mean that you are 28 years old, married, have a kid, are pregnant, have a job and are getting your master's degree. You have already done so much."
I sat quietly, a little speechless.
"I don't know if I will have done everything you have when I am your age. How did you do it?"
I smiled and explained to him that I made a decision about what was important to me, and I set goals. I told him that he can accomplish anything he wants to by any age if he sets his mind to it. I have no doubt my son will be extremely successful. He is smart and charismatic. He is wise beyond his years in so many ways.
I was taken back by the thought that I am "accomplished". I spend so much of my time focused on the things that I don't have, what I haven't done and what I might not be able to do in the future. This conversation made me realize that I really need to take some time to reflect on my accomplishments, and give myself a little more credit now and then.
I try to stay humble, but maybe there is a fine line between being humble and not recognizing value in yourself on a regular basis.
More than anything, it means the world to me that my son views me as accomplished. For me, it means that it has all been worth it. Every class, every test, every 20 page paper. Every date, every bad relationship, every time my heart was broken. Every time I struggled and I wondered if it would make a difference to anyone. It did. And that is why when my son told me I was accomplished, it was one of the best things anyone has ever said to me.
What a sweet post! I can totally relate.
ReplyDeleteI had TONS of mom guilt when I was pursuing my BA. During of those 4 (ahem...5) years my husband worked two tours overseas. A lot of the time I was doing it all on my own (school and taking care of our two young daughters) and felt very preoccupied, mentally and physically.
I had to keep reminding myself that it would be a good example in the long-run, even though we all sacrificed a little at the time.
Good for you, mama! And it sounds like you have raised a tender boy in the process <3
Thank you! I have always had that "mom guilt" (I love that phrase) in one way or another. There just isn't time to do it all. I think our character and attitude is what really shows to our children, no matter what we are doing. Congrats on your BA! As much as I complain about school, I really do think it is worth it :)
DeleteAnd I do have a very sweet child. He has his moments where he drives me up the wall (don't all children?), but he has such a good heart. Thank you for your kind words!
Such a sweet young man you have raised! Keep it up mama! And congrats on accomplishing so much =)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Katie! :)
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