Mom Challenge: Day 6

Challenge #13

Do not criticize your child today.

Unfortunately, I will not have an opportunity to spend much time with my son today :( I came down with a very painful inflammation of my intestines. Long story short, I spent the entire night in the ER and I will be laid up in bed for the next few days on lots of medication. Thank goodness for Aunts and Grandmas and Family! I'd hate for Jasen to be stuck in the house all weekend, I'm so happy he will be having fun with family...even if I will miss him :(

Nevertheless, I still would like to examine the topic of criticizing our children. I think I need a solid definition for this:

From Merriam Webster:

crit·i·cize

 verb \ˈkri-tə-ˌsīz\

crit·i·cizedcrit·i·ciz·ing

Definition of CRITICIZE

intransitive verb

: to act as a critic

transitive verb

1

: to consider the merits and demerits of and judge accordingly : evaluate

2

: to find fault with : point out the faults of

— crit·i·ciz·able  adjective

— crit·i·ciz·er noun

So, is it evaluation or finding fault with? I typically take criticism as something negative. I remember being younger and having people tell me "it's just constructive criticism, don't take it so personally".

I find it a challenge not to take any type of criticism personally. I can't think of a time where I have heard of criticism being used in a positive context. With that being determined, why do we criticize our children?

I feel as a parent it is natural to find fault with our children. We want to fix their problems. We want them to grow into responsible, well liked, adults. I know today I will not find fault with my child, but in the future, is this ok?

Maybe the solution is in how a parent delivers this criticism. I am a firm believer that we should never shame our children or make them think they are bad people. I also believe that even as adults, we need to have criticism partnered with compliments.

It is ok to guide our children and discuss behaviors to be changed, but we must always be aware of our delivery and make sure our compliments far exceed our criticisms.